With
today's families getting busier and busier, it's no wonder that one of
the questions so frequently asked by moms and dads everywhere is, "How
do we balance our child's extracurricular activities and family life?"
That is a tough question that many parents face each day. Combine
finding time for families with the pressure to involve your child in
extracurricular activities and you have a recipe for overscheduled,
exhausted and frustrated families. However, you don't need to lose sleep
over this problem if you follow a few simple ideas.
- Talk to your child. Find out what he wants to do. So
many times children have a million things that they would like to
try--sports, scouting, cheerleading, dance, playing an instrument--that
it can be hard for them to settle on just one or two things. By talking
to your child and finding out what he is most interested in, you can
narrow down the never-ending list of extracurricular activities. You
will also open up the lines of communication to learn more about your
child's passions. Maybe your child loves to write and draw but can't
find an outlet for this talent. Together you can find art classes. Or
perhaps your child loves playing the drums but band practice at school
just isn't enough for him. By talking and discussing all the different
opportunities available, you will learn about your child's interests and
help him choose the ones that are right for him. You should bear in
mind while talking to your child that his activities should reflect his
interests and goals, not yours. Signing your child up for things you
think he would enjoy instead of looking at what he really cares about
and enjoys, is a sure-fire path to disaster.
- Consider the cost on family and finances.
Once your child has chosen an activity, you will need to weigh the cost
on your wallet. Is this something you can afford? Is there a payoff in
the end? For instance, when you rent an instrument, the music store you
rented from will put a portion of your rental fee toward the purchase of
the instrument. Think about whether or not you really need "new" or
whether "gently used" can work just as well.
When it comes to sports, buying used cleats for baseball and soccer is not always the best idea. Used shoes will offer no warranty, so if there are defects in the shoes, you won't get your money back. Also, with used shoes and cleats, you may not be able to get an entire season out of them as many athletic shoes tend to wear unevenly on the soles. However, you could save a few dollars by getting gently used elbow pads and shin guards.Of course the cost in dollars and cents isn't the only thing you should consider; think about the cost to your family. How much practice time is necessary? What about traveling? When it comes to sports, the home games are wonderful, but sometimes the away games can take a toll on the family. The whole idea of balancing home life and extracurricular school activities is to gain family time and make the most of it, not lose more of it. If there are younger siblings involved, you will definitely need to consider the cost to them. Can they withstand traveling for the away games or recitals? While a three- or four-year-old may look forward to watching his big brother or sister perform, your two-month-old probably won't and would benefit from being at home, either with your partner or a sitter.
- Create a workable schedule. Probably the
most important part of balancing your home life with your child's
extracurricular activities is creating a schedule that works. If you
have more than one child involved in activities, you will need to take
everyone's schedule into consideration. This is usually the part that
most families dread because it can be daunting to create something that
works for everyone. Every parent wants to be there for every practice
and never miss a moment. But life doesn't always allow for us to do
this. When this happens, you need to be prepared. If you find yourself
with a schedule conflict, sometimes it becomes necessary to ask for
outside help. Does your child have a friend who is participating in the
same activity? If so, see if you and the parents can trade a night of
picking up and dropping off for practice. Sometimes, the buddy system
and carpooling with other parents becomes necessary and a lifesaver as
well.
When working practice and performances into your schedule, make sure to schedule a family or relaxation night. This sounds silly to schedule time with family but it is often the only way to find time to sit down and relax together. During this time, emphasize that no one has friends over, everyone is home for dinner, and no one goes anywhere. You don't even have to do anything special. This could just be a night to order in dinner, turn off the phone and Internet and hang out together. While it's important to work out a schedule for the activities everyone is involved in, it's even more important to schedule time to be together.
If you find that the
schedule isn't working, your child seems stressed, overtired, or you
notice his grades slipping, it may be time to reevaluate the steps you
have put in place to balance everything. Sometimes, it becomes necessary
to start over and talk to your child again about the activities that he
is involved in. Extracurricular activities should be fun and an outlet
from school as well as a good way to socialize, but if you see that they
cause your child stress or he no longer gets joy from them, it may be
time to reprioritize.